Heart in the Stars, Feet on the Ground

How a regular tarot practice has helped me become a better advocate, a stronger friend, and a happier person

Last summer, I was going through some heavy stuff. A good friend had just gotten her first tarot deck and offered to give me a reading.

She didn't know any of the specifics of what was going on in my life and how awful it was, but she pulled the ten of swords as my "present". She showed me the card and attempted to quickly explain away how it isn't always as dark a card as it seems, but I stopped her. She was spot on.

The overview words for the Ten of Swords in the "Queer Tarot Guidebook" are rock bottom, ruin, and loss. That about summed it up. She also drew the knight of wands, which represents possibility, passion, new endeavors, and brilliance. I knew I would be able to get through the difficult moment I was in.

My very first tarot reading! It doesn’t look happy, but it hit me exactly where it needed to.

This was in July, and I found myself coming back over and over again to how much peace that reading brought me. At another stressful juncture early this fall, I was feeling directionless and stuck in my work. I was mid-Yom Kippur fast hanging out with some lovely people and spotted a tarot deck in a friend's bookshelf. Hungry for that same peace I had gotten in July (and for food, because fasting) I asked my friend to do a reading for me.

Again, it was startlingly accurate and helped me find some much needed clarity. Do I think that Tarot cards are for sure magical and able to tell the future? Not exactly. But did those two readings give me new ways to think about the situations I was in and the things I was struggling with? Yes. Did they bring me a source of comfort and peace I was in great need of? Absolutely.

I spent subsequent weeks thinking passively about getting a deck of my own but being afraid to take the plunge. Was I ready to confront my notions of what it meant to be the kind of person who "did tarot"?

Then, the election happened. On the day the results were announced, I drove over to my favorite local bookstore (Left Bank Books!!) and picked up my first tarot deck.

Look how pretty! The Deck is called “Queer Tarot”

For this week's paid subscriber article, I thought I'd write a bit more about what that practice has been like, and what it's changed for me.

Since this piece doesn’t contain anything urgent, it’ll be starting off as a piece for my paid subscribers. It will become available to everyone in a few weeks. No permanent paywalls here, and I’ll never hide important reporting or actions from you.

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The Beginning

The impact of Tarot on my life started very quickly. Like many of us, the day after the election was not a good one. But after I got my deck, I was so excited to give it a test run that I invited all my friends over for readings.

Unplugged from the news, I spent the evening talking to my loved ones about our dreams, our fears, our relationships, and everything in between. All prompted by interpretations of the cards we were reading. We even did a reading for my dog with the question "why are you growling?". The card he picked/sniffed was about "affection, attention, and dedicated time with loved ones".

Tarot very quickly became an escape for me, but not just in giving me somewhere to run away. Rather, it became a safe place to land, somewhere I wanted to choose to lean in to the parts of life that felt rich and fulfilling.

Daily Readings

Since I purchased my first deck a few months ago, I have done a reading pretty much every day as my first activity for the morning. I make my tea, put on some music, and watch the sunrise as I set an intention for my day.

My reading from this morning, reminding me to slow down, be thoughtful, and look for balance before throwing myself into new projects and ideas. Cards are from the Modern Witch Deck!

Some days I pull a single card, just to ask "what is the energy of the day?" and I use that to set my intentions. I incorporate that energy into the way I plan my day.

Other days, I have a 3 card morning spread I like to do.

1. What energy should I bring to today?

2. What energy is today going to bring to me?

3. How can I find peace, rest, or joy today?

As I mentioned earlier, it's not that I necessarily view these readings as definitive descriptions of exactly what's going to happen each day. But having a reliable, peaceful ritual in which I start every day by deciding how I want to show up, and deciding how I'm going to prioritize joy on that day, is incredibly grounding.

I write my card of the day on the top of my to do list as a frequent reminder of the energy I’m hoping to bring to the day! And yes, my to do list is VERY cute, thanks for noticing

The fact that I am asking how to choose joy and rest every day means I am much more likely to then look for those opportunities throughout my day, especially when I have some universal "nudges" about how to do so.

Do I also find that I tend to pull certain cards over, and over, and over again? Do I imagine I can hear the universe snickering at me as I pull the most on-the-nose cards imaginable? Maybe.

The Big Stuff

I’ve also sat myself down for some longer readings at times where I had a big new idea, where I was really struggling with something, or when I was feeling particularly stuck.

I’ve used to Tarot for a number of major reflective readings, like my year in review spread I spent a few hours on around New Year’s. I went into those reading with preconceived ideas of what my greatest achievement or biggest challenges were, and as I pulled cards that might not have aligned with those ideas, I was reminded of things I’d overcome and successes I’ve had throughout the year. I also used tarot to reflect on challenging situations I’ve been in, and found myself faced with important questions about what I could’ve done differently and what healing might look like for all parties.

I have always thought of myself as a reflective person, and creating a dedicated practice of deeply and regularly reflecting on things brought that to a whole new level.

My template for my lil daily tarot readings :)

I’ve also used tarot for more future focused goal setting. While I have a regular practice separate from tarot of setting goals each month for what I want to do, I use tarot to set goals for how I want to show up.

When I’m starting a new project or facing a new obstacle, I’ll ask myself questions like “what energy should I bring to this project? What is success going to feel like? How can I continue to prioritize joy in this moment? What will bring me strength and inspiration on this initiative?”

Again, I don’t need the deck to tell me the future. I use the deck to guide my reflections on how I want to show up.

I have been reminded time and time again to slow down, be freely giving of my love but preciously guarded with my time, and to not be afraid of trying new creative endeavors.

I have begun to approach my whole life with an intentionality and reflection that I did not have before. Even when I don’t have my deck, I approach new commitments, slowly and thoughtfully, and I ask myself constantly how I might find more space for joy and rest for myself and others.

Friend-Ben 2.0

Tarot has also been a source of abundant joy in my relationships with others. Being able to do a reading for a friend who is nervous about the future or reflecting on a challenging year is so beautifully intimate. I may not have all the answers or be able to fix every problem for my friends, but knowing I can welcome them in with soft music and warm tea and create a safe space for them to reflect on their fears and their deepest dreams is so powerful.

Maybe your practice isn’t tarot. Maybe it’s journaling. Maybe it’s writing letters to people you love. Maybe it’s meditation. I’m not working off of any sort of commission here, I don’t need to sell you on tarot specifically.

I’m here to sell you on intention. On a ritual of reflection. I’m here to sell you on sitting down and asking yourself: “How can I find joy? How can I find rest?” and learning how to hear the answer.