Scariest. Halloween. EVER!

With less than a week until the election, I know things feel a little overwhelming right now. Let me share a little bit of love and motivation with you.

Hey, folks. How are we doing? We're in the home stretch now. We've almost made it. To where, I don't know. But change is coming. I know that's scary, but let's talk about it. I know a lot of people are vying for your attention right now, so I'll keep this on the shorter side.

I want to start us off with some pure joy. Last week, I was in Salt Lake City at a conference for parents of LGBTQ+ youth, and I had the opportunity to be interviewed for a video on trans joy. The creator, Lauren Sunshine (a perfect name for someone working for trans joy) just sent me the final video, and it brought a big, corny smile to my face. I hope it'll do the same for you. Enjoy, and feel free to share to support a cool trans artist!

This weekend I was at a conference for PFLAG southern pacific region, which was absolutely lovely. I was there to speak about bringing a joy-centered approach to advocacy, and I'd like to pose to you all the same challenge I gave to them.

First, take a moment to ask yourself: What do I want?

For many of us, it's easy to jump right to the "Nots". Not Trump, no more trans healthcare bans, no more violence, no more hate.

I'm not saying it's bad to want those things. I want those things too. But living in the "nots" lets our opposition define our dreams, our futures, our priorities. It also makes our main driving emotions fear and anger, which are not sustainable.

Those dreams are also much harder to act on. If I want no more healthcare bans, how can I actually do that? It also makes it much harder to celebrate--how will we know when we've acheived no more hate?

Let's try this exercise again, but this time, without any "not" or "no" included: What do I want? Don't be afraid to get specific.

For me, the world that I'm dreaming of is one in which all people can receive safe, empathetic, gender-affirming and reproductive healthcare.

I want a world where trans people can express themselves in colorful, creative, individual ways and feel celebrated for their beauty.

I want a world where my community feels safe, well-rested, and cared for.

I want financial stability for the transgender community.

I dream of a world where people are able to move from a place of joy, not fear.

Now that you've got your wants, what are you going to do about it?

These dreams are actionable year round.

I want people to have safe access to healthcare, so I volunteer as a patient greeter with planned parenthood in Illinois at the closest abortion clinic to 11 states with restrictive bans, keeping patients safe from aggressive protestors. It also means knocking doors, donating, and staying involved with the fight to pass amendment 3 in Missouri to make abortion safe and legal!

I want trans people to be able to express themselves safely, so I plan events to build spaces where that's possible, and I speak often with others about diversity in gender expression to help them feel more supportive when they encounter different people. I'm also fighting to de-platform politicians who make hate and judgment their focus.

I want my community to feel cared for, so I do my best to check in on my friends, find out what they need, and whenever possible cook them highly elaborate meals that take all day instead of reading the news.

I want financial stability, so I help workplaces write inclusive policies and develop their cultures to be equitable and welcoming of transgender people.

I want people to find more joy, so I write this newsletter!

I want safety, so I've already voted (early and in person!!) for Kamala Harris and downballot democrats, and I am doing everything in my power to help her win.

I know it's scary to want something specific, because that requires vulnerability. That requires you to be open to the possibility that you might not get that thing, or that it might take a lot of time and effort to get that thing. But I hope this empowers you to put in the time and the work and to commit to making it happen.

The reality is: no one is coming to save us. There is no grownup waiting to step in once things get bad enough and make everything better. This is it. If you want something, it is not anyone else's job to make that happen. It's up to us.

So I ask you once more, reader, what do you want? And what are you going to do about it?

Thank you for being here with me. Thank you for caring, thank you for voting, thank you for looking for joy. Whatever happens next week, know that there will still be plenty of good news and bad news all around us, and I'll be here to help you fight for joy every step of the way.

With love, with strength, with togetherness,

Ben