Gentle suggestion: As a nerdy Queer person, myself, I have found a home in the Society for Creative Anachronism. It's an international educational nonprofit focusing on early historical studies and recreation. It's delightfully geeky, socially messy, and ever evolving to balance the needs of modern community with the exploration and lore of the far past. After 20 years, I am still finding ways to build community, lean on friendship, make improvements and investments in the organization, and push for progress. I have met the most creative, generous, honorable, and kind people, and I have also found numerous gaming groups and Con buddies, through the SCA, along the way. I have also encountered the most amazing assholes and broken stairs; every community struggles with a few of those, now and then, so there's room for improvement and opportunity to lend a hand in that regard. There are a ton of local branches, throughout California, so if you don't vibe with one, feel free to explore another.
My husband and I are in the SCA as well! He's much more invested than I am (he really enjoys "bonking people with sticks," as he puts it), but I do enjoy tagging along and hearing about all of the hot tea from our friends. I agree that there is a wonderful queer community to be found there, and many people are so welcoming. The best way I've found to meet new people there is to just walk up and ask someone what they're working on.
"To be cringe is to be free" should be taught in elementary schools and emblazoned on all the swag - hilarious, brilliant, and so very true!! Have fun!
Great essay, Ben. Making friends is a universal problem in these times. And it takes work. Like you, I've made my best friends through pickleball, volunteering, and advocacy. Hope we can be friends, too.
Gentle suggestion: As a nerdy Queer person, myself, I have found a home in the Society for Creative Anachronism. It's an international educational nonprofit focusing on early historical studies and recreation. It's delightfully geeky, socially messy, and ever evolving to balance the needs of modern community with the exploration and lore of the far past. After 20 years, I am still finding ways to build community, lean on friendship, make improvements and investments in the organization, and push for progress. I have met the most creative, generous, honorable, and kind people, and I have also found numerous gaming groups and Con buddies, through the SCA, along the way. I have also encountered the most amazing assholes and broken stairs; every community struggles with a few of those, now and then, so there's room for improvement and opportunity to lend a hand in that regard. There are a ton of local branches, throughout California, so if you don't vibe with one, feel free to explore another.
My husband and I are in the SCA as well! He's much more invested than I am (he really enjoys "bonking people with sticks," as he puts it), but I do enjoy tagging along and hearing about all of the hot tea from our friends. I agree that there is a wonderful queer community to be found there, and many people are so welcoming. The best way I've found to meet new people there is to just walk up and ask someone what they're working on.
"To be cringe is to be free" should be taught in elementary schools and emblazoned on all the swag - hilarious, brilliant, and so very true!! Have fun!
My daughter lived in LA for 22 years, and just moved to Charlotte, where it is so easy to make friends. LA seemed to be very difficult.
Great essay, Ben. Making friends is a universal problem in these times. And it takes work. Like you, I've made my best friends through pickleball, volunteering, and advocacy. Hope we can be friends, too.
Oh, this is Pam, not Thomas. Looking forward to meeting you Sept. 15!!
This introverted, elder (83) bi man is not nearly as gifted as you on the intro/extroverted scale.
Good to read of your life in LA.